The right approach: Suggest regular gatherings – a monthly lunch, a weekly phone call, a ‘no-excuses’ meeting on Sunday. Simple rituals restore regularity without the pressure.
Distance, a very real obstacle.
The impact of distance is often underestimated. When children live several hours away, a visit “just for the weekend” quickly becomes a hassle, with train schedules, suitcases, and fatigue.
But even from a distance, a warm family bond can develop!
A tip for building a bond: a video call for a virtual cup of coffee, a small surprise package, a photo sent “just because”… It is these small gestures that keep the bond alive, even if you live far apart.
When communication fails
Another common pitfall is unspoken expectations. Many parents assume that their children know they can come “whenever they want.” For children, however, this lack of clarity can lead to hesitation. “What if I disturb them? What if they have other plans?”
Result: Each party waits for the other party to make the first move.
The trick is to express your feelings clearly and without drama. For example: “I would really love it if you came over for dinner sometime. Just let me know when it suits you.” A clear and polite invitation makes a big difference.
